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Run Faster

Guest rap appearance by: Abominominous
With french runway announcer: Monica

Transit officials have acknowledged that New York City has the slowest bus speeds in America, at an average of 7.5 mph in recent years. According to the groups, the slowest most-used bus routes in each borough are:

B35 4.6 mph Runs between Brownsville and Sunset Park in Brooklyn
Bx9 4.5 mph Runs between Riverdale and West Farms Square in the Bronx
M23 3.4 mph Runs cross-town on 23rd Street in Manhattan
Q32 5.3 mph Runs between Jackson Heights and Penn Station
S62/92 7.8 mph Runs between Travis and the St. George Ferry Terminal

Taken by the arguments set forth in the Straphangers Association's annual "Pokey Awards", this song is based on comparisons made between the speed of NYC city buses and animals.

“City bus speeds are in the cellar,” said Gene Russianoff, staff attorney for the Straphangers Campaign. “There’s something terribly wrong when the slowest city buses come in a distant third behind chickens and penguins and just ahead of the average pedestrian.”

I love my B35
I love my Bx9
and my M23
of course my Q32
these all are fine
like corked red wine
the speed that penguins swim
the speed that chickens run
a speed with walkers close behind
is this the best we do?
how does it affect you
when millions get caught in the grind?

the "pokey" awards are for the slowest city buses
and the pokiest of routes would call out many cuses
cause at 3.4 miles-per-hour, well, you're almost walking
and i bet that on a summer day you would do some talking
to the driver and the mayor and the kid that's sittin pretty
while a pregnant girl is standing trying to get across the city
yes, a king penguin can swim at 5.3 mph
a chicken can get down at 9, so hurry hurry up and wait

i love my S92
i love my M66
adore the M14
oh yum, the 101
they've lots of time
cause they've got mine
the speed that penguins swim
the speed that chickens run
a speed with walkers close behind
is this all we can do?
or does it affect you
if millions get caught in the grind?

“There’s something terribly wrong when the slowest city buses come in a distant third behind chickens and penguins and just ahead of the average pedestrian.”

the speed that penguins swim
the speed that chickens run
a speed with walkers close behind
what should we do, master?
first run fast, then faster
we're just tired, do you mind?

© 2004 roy walter

December 31, 2004 01:20 AM

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