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Rudolph the Venison Sausage

David Klein and I did this in 1984. Yes, this is based on a story in the World News Report. Rudolph, a pet deer in Anckorage Alaska that attracted holiday crowds, was reported missing. Days later, he was found hanging in the meat locker of a local Waldbaums supermarket. We just couldn't let this one go by without comment.

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rudolph the venison sausage
he's the finast you can buy
he's tender and oh so wholesome
'snothing better you can fry

rudolph grew up on good things
the forest was a very nice place
now he resides at Waldbaums
hanging in the freezer case

then one bloody christmas eve
poachers came to town
"rodulph with your nose so brite
won't you feed my kids tonight?"

"here little reindeer
nice little reindeer"
"come on rudolph"
"come here
let's get you in the sack"
"I think we're gonna get 'em clem"

soon all the neighbors wondered
what happened to that funny nose
though they were hardly friendly
you wouldn't say they were his foes

then some creep slipped in his pen
and butchered him for dinner
but when we put him on a Ritz
we knew it was a winner

rudolph the venison sausage
made of very special deer
don't pass up on this offer
imported only once a year

"more rudolph sausages, mom...please!"

December 23, 1984 02:18 PM