Guest rap appearance by: Abominominous

With french runway announcer: Monica

Transit officials have acknowledged that New York City has the slowest bus speeds in America, at an average of 7.5 mph in recent years. According to the groups, the slowest most-used bus routes in each borough are:

B35 4.6 mph Runs between Brownsville and Sunset Park in Brooklyn

Bx9 4.5 mph Runs between Riverdale and West Farms Square in the Bronx

M23 3.4 mph Runs cross-town on 23rd Street in Manhattan

Q32 5.3 mph Runs between Jackson Heights and Penn Station

S62/92 7.8 mph Runs between Travis and the St. George Ferry Terminal

Taken by the arguments set forth in the Straphangers Association's annual "Pokey Awards", this song is based on comparisons made between the speed of NYC city buses and animals.

“City bus speeds are in the cellar,” said Gene Russianoff, staff attorney for the Straphangers Campaign. “There’s something terribly wrong when the slowest city buses come in a distant third behind chickens and penguins and just ahead of the average pedestrian.” 

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I love my B35

I love my Bx9

and my M23

of course my Q32

these all are fine

like corked red wine

the speed that penguins swim

the speed that chickens run 

a speed with walkers close behind

is this the best we do?

how does it affect you

when millions get caught in the grind?

the "pokey" awards are for the slowest city buses

and the pokiest of routes would call out many cuses

cause at 3.4 miles-per-hour, well, you're almost walking

and i bet that on a summer day you would do some talking

to the driver and the mayor and the kid that's sittin pretty

while a pregnant girl is standing trying to get across the city

yes, a king penguin can swim at 5.3 mph

a chicken can get down at 9, so hurry hurry up and wait

i love my S92

i love my M66

adore the M14

oh yum, the 101

they've lots of time

cause they've got mine

the speed that penguins swim

the speed that chickens run 

a speed with walkers close behind

is this all we can do?

or does it affect you

if millions get caught in the grind?

“There’s something terribly wrong when the slowest city buses come in a distant third behind chickens and penguins and just ahead of the average pedestrian.”

the speed that penguins swim

the speed that chickens run 

a speed with walkers close behind

what should we do, master?

first run fast, then faster

we're just tired, do you mind?

 

© 2004 roy walter

December 31, 2004 01:20 AM