David Klein and I did this in 1984. Yes, this is based on a story in the World News Report. Rudolph, a pet deer in Anckorage Alaska that attracted holiday crowds, was reported missing. Days later, he was found hanging in the meat locker of a local Waldbaums supermarket. We just couldn't let this one go by without comment.

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rudolph the venison sausage

he's the finast you can buy

he's tender and oh so wholesome

'snothing better you can fry

rudolph grew up on good things

the forest was a very nice place

now he resides at Waldbaums

hanging in the freezer case

then one bloody christmas eve

poachers came to town

"rodulph with your nose so brite

won't you feed my kids tonight?"

"here little reindeer…nice little reindeer"

"mama"

"come on rudolph"

"papa"

"come here…let's get you in the sack"

"I think we're gonna get 'em clem"

soon all the neighbors wondered

what happened to that funny nose

though they were hardly friendly

you wouldn't say they were his foes

then some creep slipped in his pen

and butchered him for dinner

but when we put him on a Ritz

we knew it was a winner

rudolph the venison sausage

made of very special deer

don't pass up on this offer

imported only once a year

"more rudolph sausages, mom...please!"

© 1984 david klein & roy walter

December 23, 1984 02:18 PM