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Rudolph the Venison Sausage

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David Klein and I did this in 1984. Yes, this is based on a story in the World News Report. Rudolph, a pet deer in Anckorage Alaska that attracted holiday crowds, was reported missing. Days later, he was found hanging in the meat locker of a local Waldbaums supermarket. We just couldn't let this one go by without comment.

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rudolph the venison sausage

 he's the finast you can buy

 he's tender and oh so wholesome

 'snothing better you can fry

rudolph grew up on good things

 the forest was a very nice place

 now he resides at Waldbaums

 hanging in the freezer case

then one bloody christmas eve

 poachers came to town

 "rodulph with your nose so brite

 won't you feed my kids tonight?"

"here little reindeer

 nice little reindeer"

 "mama"

 "come on rudolph"

 "papa"

 "come here

 let's get you in the sack"

 "I think we're gonna get 'em clem"

soon all the neighbors wondered

 what happened to that funny nose

 though they were hardly friendly

 you wouldn't say they were his foes

then some creep slipped in his pen

 and butchered him for dinner

 but when we put him on a Ritz

 we knew it was a winner

rudolph the venison sausage

 made of very special deer

 don't pass up on this offer

 imported only once a year

"more rudolph sausages, mom...please!"

December 23, 1984 02:18 PM

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